A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
