she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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