Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need to calm my uterus...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
