You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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