I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
