yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So. Much. Porn.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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