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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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