So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
