ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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