Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
