We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
