Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize