the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
