I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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