i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
