ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
