and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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