Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
