either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
