You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's always time for handjobs
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
