erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
