how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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