you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
