I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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