you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize