It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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