the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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