I was born with a shot glass in my hand
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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