i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
