so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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