there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
