what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
