Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
