my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
