Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
