she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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