Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
