i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
