Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
