i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
