Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I need moral support for this bender
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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