May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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