I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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