Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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