just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
