ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
