Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
