I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
