don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
