Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
