Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
