i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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