I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
