I cockslap morals
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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