so let's talk penis.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
