He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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