I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
