Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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