so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
