Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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