do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
