Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
