mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
